I turned 30 yesterday. It seems very weird. Growing up, I heard so many people say that they didn't feel their age, that they still felt so very young. Now, I'm not old, but I'm beginning to understand what they meant. I think that, as we get older, we begin to realize how much we DON'T know, how often we are so wrong in our judgements of others, how much grace we ourselves need, how short life really is. Perspective changes.....
I got a tattoo. Definite change - - - - - that my mother will find out about tomorrow. It's the word Muirnin written in Celtic script across the inside of my left wrist. The word means "beloved" in Gaelic. This wasn't a snap, "help, I'm turning thirty" decision. I've actually wanted to get one for several years but wanted to be sure I wanted what I got. This is to be a daily reminder that I am Christ's Beloved. I so often allow my feelings to influence what I believe about who I am in the Lord. My feelings don't change the truth though. Muirnin is who I am to my God. A physical marking, a reminder that "I am my Beloved's, and He is mine".....
I took the full time position at the clinic where I have been working part time. This would not usually be such a big deal for someone, but for me, it's kinda big. It means that I'm committing to staying in DFW for at least another year. It means I'm not planning, striving, pushing forward. I'm waiting. I'm finally learning to trust that being still is not "wasted time". Learning to be still is giving me some much needed and beyond priceless, precious time with people I dearly love.
So there's where life is at the moment. Nothing crazy, nothing chaotic, nothing spectacular - - - -and maybe that's the most spectacular, amazing thing about it. Life always changes, and it always stays the same.
