Hits in New Orleans

This is a repost of a myspace blog put on here specifically for my little sister who requested it. A few things added.....

Hits in N.O.

As I said before, working in New Orleans is rather interesting. Our E.R. stays pretty busy. Between people coding, coming in with gun shot wounds, being drunk out of their minds, and getting no available beds upstairs, we stay on our feet the whole time. I am now no longer just an ER nurse. I'm ICU, med surg, psych, trauma, rehab, and er - all from one spot. I love the trauma. I think my mom is bothered that I'm a blood and guts kind of gal. All of this rambling to share a few lessons learned -

#1 If you take cocaine on a regular basis, you WILL have chest pain

#2 Don't tell me that you don't take cocaine but that you have been on a crack binge for the last three months

#3 When you have 16 bullet holes in your body, none of which hit vital organs, don't tell the nurses and docs you don't know why it happened or who did it. That wasn't just a lousy shot. It was a warning.

#4 With 16 holes in your body, don't tell me you're not on drugs. Your pee says otherwise, and if I believe your lie and give you meds that work with the benzos, thc, crack and opiates in your system, you could lay there and die.

#5 Don't look too many people in the eye when you go running downtown. Lots of them are your patients, and if they recognize you, you could be in trouble. Your goal is NOT to be a block-buster CSI case.

#6 NEVER agree to a date with one of your drunken, crackhead patients...or the psychiatric patient who thinks you're nice....or the guy on Bourbon street....or the local EMT. In fact, not dating someone from New Orleans IN New Orleans is probably your best bet.

#7 Be very good friends with all of the security folk. They might just save your butt one day.

#8 Please don't come to the ER because a pigeon pecked your toe in 1997, and "its hurt ever since...."

#9 NEVER take a patient up on getting a free palm reading

#10 When the doctors are calling your row of patients "Corrie's Crackhouse", you know it's going to be a doozy of a day.....

#11 When a patient's family asks if you're married, and his friend states that he doesn't see a ring, RUN!!!! Don't ask questions or try to be polite - just run.......fast!!!